I am writing this as a confession to all those that I care about, that care about me, that I have lost or gained in the last year.
This last year has been a particularly adventurous one you could say. I don't know much, But I know this. I never knew who I was, I still don't but I am finally learning and its a path I wouldn't change for anything. But my whole life I have felt like a fraud.
I grew up broken, and as a matter of fact I am still very broken and its taken years for me to admit this. By this I mean that everything that has happen to me has attested to this. From absence of a woman in my life to helping my dad raise my brothers, my step mother and the turmoils that I went through. I will never ask you to feel sorry or think more of me because I went through hardship as everyone does.
But this last year: I have learned more then I have in my whole life. I have grown and learned that being broken and not always knowing my path is who I am and sometimes 1/2 the fun. Also making me realize that I am loved JUST THE WAY THAT I AM.
Over the last year I have went from being a stay at home mother to a full time working one(part time now) to folding laundry and making dinner to being away from my husband and children that it has not changed me but opened my eyes. My husband and I bought a house and have realized the responsibility and the stress on us that has brought, but also show us how to be better parents and better for one another. I have went through some health problems and are still trying to figure them out.
Most of all, I found god, real love, friendships and mostly myself. I am not that multi Megan any more the one that pleases everyone. I am ME! That has come with some hardship as people realize that they may not like me, or don't get me any more and that is fine I am ok with that now. I am ok with not pleasing everyone around, not always having to be the best, the center and proving others that I am "cool" in lame tums.
I am me: I am a bit neurotic, I am crazy, I am bi-polar, I am social anxiety, I am asthma, I am a wife, mother, hard working, home owner. I am a best friend, I am my own worst enemy, I am blunt and honest and sometimes mean. I am god's child, and most I am confused most the time. But that is just a fraction of who I am. I am also loving, ambitious, talented, scared, closet singer and I am Megan and best version I can be. I know I may be going on and on but I needed to get this all out.
I have lost some people in my life this year, some by choice, some by the graces of god and some well some just left me. For that I am a stronger me. I am looking out for what matters, my children me and my husband. MY FAMILY. I have been so distracted my whole life I forgot to live it.
