As I write this tonight I am conflicted, with my new confidence in my last pregnancy why not feel this way about my current one? I am 14 weeks 1 day pregnant with out 3rd child and I can't seem to connect.. I want to so badly love this pregnancy but fear is holding my back. Fear, fear that god too will take this one away from me, fear that something wrong will come about at my 20 week scan, fear that no matter what I do baby might take her or his first breaths and not live to take another. I am bound with this fear. I want it to go away badly, some tell me this is normal Megan loss stays with you, some tell me that its third baby syndrome and others tell me it's a result in depression. I don't know maybe its all or non Of those things. When I look in the mirror I don't see a pregnant woman, I see a insecure girl who seems to be lost. Pregnancy is hard no matter how many times you do it, no matter it's always different. I know. Will get I all get over this I know this in my heart. But if there s still one thing that stands its the pride I have for what I have. Two amazing and beautiful babies that I would never trade and courage for myself. I know this babies are why my body is different, they are the creation of who I am today. When I show off my stripes or show that person who is Curious about that section scar, I am proud! I stand proud or every single small or big mark I got while pregnant with my children!!! No matter what society tells me I will never believe there is a more beautiful body then one that has grown life and has the miles on it to prove! So remind yourself that no matter what u are beautiful!!
And now baring skin and proud :) 14 weeks