I have realized something, I really don't care for mean people. I know what you must be thinking "well no one does". I am talking about those that feel that they need to make everyone else around them miserable as per them hating or disliking there own lives, just to make themselves feel better. I have been over the last year a victim, if you will, of such persons. I have done all that I can to ignore this person and not allow her to get under my skin but as we all know, I'm human and have emotions and feelings and those feelings are getting hurt. No matter my efforts I cant seem to get away from her. She finds me everywhere and no matter what she is telling me its a attack on me, my family, who I am, my children, what I do, who my friends are and so on. I try to get away from her personally and she fights me on Facebook, I delete and block her and she gets my number, and now I need to change that. I am so sick of hearing how much this woman hates me. Here is the thing, she has NEVER taken the time to get to know me and knows just as much about me as a person on the street, or hear say. But never the less people in this world will always treat people this way, bring them down in the tries to make themselves feel better.
One of my idols is Elinor Roosevelt and she ounce said " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" I tell people that I love all the time those words, but just like anyone its hard to listen to your own advice. I am learning lessons everyday as everyone does. This lesson is a hard one and I find myself wanting to just lash out and not do the right thing. I know that I have said somethings to her that may be mean, but all were in defense to my own person. I have apologized and now thinking that was a mistake as nothing that you can say or do to these types of persons is good enough or make a difference no matter who is wrong. There was a time that I tried to talk things over and ended up getting attacked all over again. Well I am not going to take the time any more. Sad part is we have a mutual friend and this is hurting her too.
I try all the time to be the best friend that I can be, and there are times that I may not seem like the nicest person too, but here is how I see this. I am only responsible for my words and what I say, not how you understand them. I am a very loving person and love all those who cross my path, and lately feel I have done an even better job of that due to my blooming faith and relationship with God as well as counseling. i like to think that I am quick to admit when I am wrong and most who really know me would agree, but I also know that my honesty sometimes comes off mean or disheartening. I want to clear that too, I don't wish to lie to you so if you don't wish for my feelings or thoughts then please lets not ask me. What I am trying to get at here is that I am done, and its time to start weeding those who don't truly care for me. I don't need this, I am a mother, wife and a adult and this behavior and relationships are not worth my time or healthy for that matter. So my wish is this, I wish that people will just stop attacking the ones you don't like or the ones you do. Hurt feelings, demeaning words and threats WILL NOT get you anywhere in life, and Carma will come back to you.
How do you feel about this, have you every been so violently emotionally abused? I know I am a good mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Right now what matters to me is my family and my friends I love. So I am now to the point were I am not going to worry about this persons words and let her think she is getting to me if that is what is going to make her feel big, because its not any more. She will not control my emotions or thoughts of myself. I have the most AMAZING husband, family and children and that right there is all I ever need in this world!
Thanks for letting me rant!!