A Desire for The Great Letdown…Follow up
Good evening, ladies. It is with a heavy heart I write this follow up note…
At nearly five weeks along, I lost another baby this morning. In the throws of physical pain all day I continually pour over the last few weeks and all I can think is “I did everything right!” I even picked up my progesterone suppositories and began using them in hopes that that would help. I prayed daily, all day…for God to work a miracle.
As ridiculous as it may seem, alongside the pain and tears today, all I can seem to think is “I want to adopt! But how!” I will mourn this loss, and somehow, I hope and pray, be a better person and mother because of it. From this I hope to re-gather my strength to look into adoption…find out more about an interest-free loan I heard about a few months ago…and look further into the two agencies I had come across and decide which to adopt through and begin that process. I am nervous…and scarred…and hopeful, somehow.
I would appreciate any prayers, advice or knowledge you may have. I don’t know what is going to happen next and I don’t know how it is going to happen or how long it is going to take but I am ready and willing and able to be a mother, and I want that to happen.