They say that when you become comfortable in a relationship that you will gain weight. Well when my husband and I started dating I actually did, but not because I was comfortable but because the way to my heart is food and he knew that.
Here is where I am struggling now. When I was younger, because I couldn't do anything or go anywhere I eat my emotions (still do) so I sat and stuffed myself till I realized I didn't have any jeans to wear and my bathing suit no longer fit. I was embarrassed that I allowed myself to get that way, and my step mom started to call me lazy and fat. I really hated when she called me that, mostly when she called me lazy as I was nothing of the sort. All she did was sit at home all day on AOL chat rooms and stuff her face while watching soaps. So its safe to say I was not the fat and lazy one, she was, I was just getting fat. I lost all that weight by getting out and running as well as not eating the fattening foods that she forced upon the family. I took extra shifts at work to get my own groceries. Then comes my graduation year and low and behold I was FAT again! Others may not have felt that way but I was, I am only 5'1" for Pete's sake.
When I moved away from home to the place that I call "home" now. Well those people don't eat junk, and that is all that was in my step moms home. Steve and Sharon knew that I was overweight and that I was not happy about it. Sharon is this tiny little thing and I wanted to be tiny again. So I worked a lot and fed my body good things, they both supported me all the time and no matter the outcome they would love me! I worked out twice a day just in my bedroom. I got down to a size two and it was amazing it was so easy to do with them supporting me and having good food around you.
Going forward a bit, when Dustin and I were getting serious I did put a few pounds on my jeans still fit, it was when I got pregnant with my first that my problems began. During my pregnancy with Emma I had a lot of health issues and I couldn't stop that and due to those health issues my normal pregnant weight gain doubled to a grand total of 97lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was mortified! But after Emma I felt like it didn't take much to get decent. I was no size two a year later but I felt ok with were I was. Personally I don't think that a size two will ever happen again after two kids. With Jack I only gained the recommended 35lbs that my doctor said. I thought wow I could loose this like its nothing. WRONG! I still a year almost later cant get into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I am so bothered by what I know is under my clothes. My girlfriend and I got this bright idea that taking a picture of our bodies side, front and back profile in our bra and panties. Let me tell you something...WORST IDEA EVER! My husband didn't get to see my naked for months! I didn't allow him when I was changing, noting. I couldn't believe that I allowed myself get this way. I want to feel good fro myself, for my self esteem that I no longer have and to be healthy for my children.
According to the BMI scale I am in the "obese" category. I have a 30.2 BMI. I am on a mission to loose 40 pounds! I know that I can do its, but I am reaching out to you, my readers to see if I can get your support. I will be posting my journey to loose weight, remind me if I forget. I need to do this for me and for my family as there is no reason to be so FAT! I know that I just had a child a year ago, but I wont allow myself to take that excuse. So lets see how this goes and Ill keep you posted!
|I am on the RIGHT in the pink, look at me and my cuteness :)|
These are me now, actually I just took them. now looking at them I am even more mortified by my body. I know that I am not grotesquely obese but I am only going to get worse, if I don't do something. So my life will change and soon, we are moving to a new town and a a new place with great walking trails so I am excited to chance my life. If only my stretch marks would disappear as the pounds go. Here is a toast to the start of my journey June 14th 2011 shall be my start date.
Height: 5' 1"
Goal: 40lbs gone.
If you wish to go on this journey with me Post your story and lets do this!!!