Monday, May 16, 2011

Help Me Understand


Its is now no secret that I am not breastfeeding my son exclusively, why I say exclusive as I still do offer it to him. Not that there is any reason to explain my love for breastfeeding or why we stopped. My son is not in a nursing strike nor am I just lazy and giving up. I am not, not breastfeeding to gain anything because to me by stopping I have lost more then anything that is/was gained. Enough with that, why I am writing today is that I feel that mothers that are not breastfeeding or choosing to stop, or not choosing in my case. We should not be put down for not nursing past a year. I am a huge supporter and promoter of breastfeeding and all its amazing properties but I feel that there is a real big issue with the way people also treat the woman that don't. When I would NIP I would get stares from all and be asked to please leave, it never bothered me as I just knew that I was just feeding my child and politely told them I am feeding my son and I am sorry they are upset or bothered by that. 

Now that I am not breastfeeding I never in a million years thought that I would hear what I am hearing from others. Telling me that I am destroying my nursing relationship on purpose, that I am selfish, not allowing my child to get what he needs and so on and so forth. I am absolutely floored! Most people that I know really don't care either way, its the complete strangers. They are rude and don't even give a person a chance at their reasons for not continuing past what ever date a woman stops. Or for the woman that choose not to BF at all, I am sorry it is first and foremost the MOTHERS choice, not mine or anyone else. 

-----Bottom line-----

WE ALL need to support each other no matter what our choice is to feed our children. We are all moms and that is what matters, yes I will support mothers that breastfeed and help them in any way that I may, but I also support the mothers that choose not to breastfeed or stopped. Please mom's lets just be nice to one another as we are all in this together :)

Just had to vent a little, whats your story? Are you a breastfeeding mom, have you stopped for any reason? Whats your story, please share. 


6 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Its really easy to go overboard when we are passionate about something. The most important thing is that every woman should have the right, ability, and information needed to raise their children as they desire.

But we are all different. Our bodies are different, our babies are different, as are our circumstances and resources. Though I believe breast milk and breastfeeding to be the best possible option for a child in a perfect world...this is not a perfect world, and it won't be anytime soon. Not to mention that it's really none of my business what another mother does with her child!! Though I may provide a mother information, I realize that is all I can or should do. Nagging, ostracizing, gossiping or any criticism of the mother apart from a civil disagreement is very wrong and damaging in so many ways.

Not only that, but a mother who criticizes other mothers for their parenting is probably not going to make for the best mother of a teenager - unless she changes. You've got to know when to keep your mouth shut, and how to be a support even when you disagree...

Heather said...

Oh sweety, I am so sorry that some women are like this. It is strange to me here in TN because MOST moms breastfeed their kids. So to see someone feed their baby a bottle is somewhat strange, but I wouldn't judge them for that, to each her own. We all do what we feel is best for us and for our children. I bottle fed babies formula when I babysat them because that's what had to be done because the mom's worked during the day. I have one friend who couldn't breastfeed, her breasts were so small and nothing would come out. So she bottle fed all 5 of her children and they are all fine, skinny, great kids.

My sister nursed her son part time, and he had formula during the day and he did just fine.

I didn't nurse my son after he was 10 1/2 months old because he refused. He wasn't getting enough, or was too active, or he just didn't want to sit still anymore. So I gave him soy formula until he was 16 months old. He would get bad gas from milk.

I have a great Mom support group online. There are 80 of us from the U.S. and Canada and we are all great friends. 20 to 30 of us chat almost everyday. We are pretty close and we talk about everything and anything. No topic is too shocking. It's really awesome. We all thank each other a lot for being there to listen, support, and offer advice. Some other bloggers and family members can be so judgmental without knowing all of the facts.

I am always here to listen. Look up my personal FB page if you'd like with my email address. mysticbutterfly37 at yahoo.com

Renee said...

My Darling Daughter,
You dont need to express to anyone why you have decided to stop BF. If anyone gives you a hard time I am thinking they maybe suffering form something they are no longer doing anymore and maybe regret it, so know they can focus on you and your decision you made and away from there own problems.
You and Jack made this together and the two of you are fine, and as far as cheating out on Jack like some may have said, its a bunch of Crap!!! you are a great Mom do not let anyone tell you anything different sweetie.
Love you, Mom

Polly said...

I desperately wanted to breastfeed my children, however my supply dwindled very quickly, I did everything possible to keep it up, I made myself physically sick, and my first son lost so much weight he ended up off the graph. I honestly feel confident in saying I did everything I could short of sitting down all day long and not using any energy - which may have been the only thing that might have worked, but tell me what new mum can do that, especially the second time around with a toddler?
I hate that I have been made to feel guilty when people have no idea of what I had to endure.

Milena Soc said...

I'm so sorry for your hurt! Not only did you have to make a difficult decision, some women have the nerve to give you grief about it! Some people are just too dogmatic about these things. In all honesty one year is more than enough to give your little one a head start. Plus, I have a feeling that the reason why some cultures BF well past 1 year is because historically it was safer to BF than to drink possibly contaminated water.

I hope I don't get any judgement if I decide to BF past 1 year or I stop! Anyways, best of luck to the both of you :)

Angel said...

Hi! First, I am a new follower! Second, don't let them get to you!! You are doing what is right for you and your child, that is all that matters. I supplemented my breast milk with a nightly bottle from the time my daughter was born. I just didn't have enough to satisfy her at the end of the day. There is nothing wrong with formula, she was a much happier little girl when I stopped listening to others and did what I felt was right. She weaned herself just after her 1st birthday, she was ready, and I cannot tell you how much crap people gave me. I politely told them that they were not in the situation, and I trusted myself to make the right decisions for MY child rather than a strangers, but thanks ever so much for the unsolicited advice. Lol I didn't feel I should force her to sit still and BF when it was obviously not what she wanted anymore, I mourned the loss of closeness for a time and then got over it. She moved to cow's milk shortly thereafter and is a very happy, healthy little! Sorry this got so long, lol, I have been in your shoes, it sucks that people can't be respectful. I hope it gets better for you!!

Have a wonderful rest of the week!

Angel
Chasing Serenity

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